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December 15, 2003

Rumsfeld Knows What he Knows

And you thought the Japanese came up with baffling English! The UK's Plain English Campaign has awarded this year's "Foot In Mouth" award to US Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. The award, for the most baffling statement by a public figure, was well deserved by America's suave PR man in the war on Iraq. Rumsfeld said during a news briefing on the war, "Reports that say that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns, there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns - the ones we don't know we don't know." "We think we know what he means," said Plain English Campaign spokesman John Lister. "But we don't know if we really know." Recently elected California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger was a runner up for his opinion that "gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman." Appliance maker SMEG was one of several winners of the "Golden Bull" award for its dishwasher manual which contained the instruction: "By pressing the relative button of desired program (see table) it will lid up the relative pilot light to confirm that the operation did occurred on the DISPLAY (9) will appear a program duration forecasting."

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